re-tro-grade

Reverting to an earlier or inferior condition.-I knew I was on to something with this one.

This is the word that has described my position for the past 2 weeks or so. Jay-Z starts off "I Know" by saying "She wants that old thing back..uh/augh...." But the definition of retrograde hits it that much harder.

Reverting to an earlier or inferior condition. You ever sit back and think, "damn I wonder what 'so and so' is doing...." or "damn, I should do 'such and such' like I used to..." I been doing that lately. The ex has been on the mind in an unusual fashion lately. Random tendencies to think of him in an earlier condition. To think, it's been nearly 1 year (October 29th or so) since we parted hearts. I've been good this year. Some instances of crazy, but after much debate and turmoil, I severed ties with that chapter of my life. However, no matter how chill I am right now, he's in the back of the front of my mind. Not necessarily an itch to call or text, but he's there. A lot of things I used to do (not just him) have me thinking about trying them again or something. Faced with the choice to Fall back or Spring forward are as awkward as this weather we're having in Cali. I feel older, yet I still am the same Evelyn. I'm making BIG MAJOR MOVES and yet, I still am the same on the outside. I'm trying to bring my inner self out. I'm trying to reflect myself to the world: I want you to look at me and see what I see inside.

Reverting to an earlier or inferior condition.....Thinking about the ex....you ever wonder if when you're thinking about someone, are they thinking about you too? Is synergy real in that realm? I'll be thinking, then I stop myself for some reason and say "He ain't even THINKING about you, so why waste your time?" But is that true? How do I know? It used to be, if I was thinking about him, he'd call. And vice-versa. Random story: Once, a couple weeks after we split, he was saying something to the effect of "...I still love you" and I was like "Wow, I woke up singing that song (shout out to 702) this morning." Now, I know what you're thinking "He was just saying that..." and more than likely, you're probably right. However, I thought it was pretty fantastic at the time.

Reverting to an earlier or inferior condition....For me to just randomly think of him at this stage (on the brink of graduation, making the decision to apply to a masters degree program...becoming a DJ...) usually doesn't serve me well. Each time I get on and start making moves in the positive, thoughts of him and I pop up, and throw me off track. And then he really pops up, and EVERYTHING gets all fucked up and off balance. And it always happens around the middle of each month (also realized a full moon occurs around this time, and ya'll know what they say about the full moon and how it affects humans).

Retrograde. Whats the antonym for that?

40oz For Breakfast...What Ever Happened To Folgers In Your Cup?

I wish I would have written this an hour ago when it first happened. My mom had just dropped me off that the bus stop at 48th & F. Anyone who knows this little mini hood (I ain't hatin' if you live there, I'm just sayin'), knows that it's not the best residence this side of E St. So, I'm standing there, like I do most mornings waiting on the 5. Normally, ain't NOBODY outside at 9:30am. Today, it was a little different. I saw this lady standing in the doorway of her apartment SCREAMING at her son. He was taking his sweet time to get up and get out to school. She was cursing to no avail. Uttering the words "I'mma BEAT YOUR ASS TIL YOU GET HOME! What? What?" (you know how you mumble under your breath and your mom/dad plays Lil' Wayne with the 'what? wha-what?') Now, I didn't stare (I ain't no damn fool. Got slightly more sense than I appear to have). I did however, listen very closely to the words she was saying to her son. She was scolding dude for not going to school. Scolding him for not being ready on time. I was a lil'...mmm...perplexed at the irony of the situation. There were about 3 other folk out there watching this situation play out. They were sitting in lawn chairs watching, listening, and giving side commentary. Now, I know all too well about being screamed at in the morning for not getting up to go to school. Every single day during middle school and high school, at about 6:50am, like clockwork, my mom would bust through my door (I'm sure she just opened it, but I have to be dramatic) and say "Eb...time to get up." What did I do, pretend I didn't hear her. She'd come back 15 mins later "Evelyn, GET UP! You're gonna be late..." She'd come back 5 mins later "EVELYN! GOD DAMMIT I SAID GET UP!!! I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU!!!! Shit..." Did I have an alarm clock? No. She was snooze. So watching this young man get roasted in front of his friends and random other people brought me back. I felt bad for him though. When he finally came downstairs amid all of this yelling, everyone was watching him. He walked outside and started walking the opposite way, toward the back of the apartments. He was looking for his buddies. All the people, including his mom were like "No nigga! You're going the wrong fucking way! They already went that way..." Just killin' him. Don't you hate when you are getting scolded and your first move is scrutinized like a mutha!? So he finally made his way down the street toward Cajon or something. The whole time he was walking toward the street, his mom was cussing him out. I'll never forget this, she screamed "GO TO SCHOOL!" That moment, right there...tells me, I gotta teach. These kids today have absolutely nothing exciting them about going to school. I felt for this kid. I watched him walk with the Bruh Man slow bop toward school. I just watched him. He's supposed to be walking toward his future, but dude can't stay woke. I got to thinking about what would cause him to oversleep. Oh, I dunno, the fact that he's probably lived in abject poverty his whole life. The fact that there is no inspiration around him to do better with himself since his mom is drinking MGD at 9:30 in the morning, and her friends are watching him get grilled. I thought about what's taking place today-Barack Obama's convention speech. I wondered if they were gonna watch it. The mom was screaming at her son "GO TO SCHOOL!!!" The son should have shouted it back at her...

Can We Pray?

Ask yourself this question:
How many times have you told God about everything that's going on inside of your heart and mind? How many times did you take the time to listen to what he had to say?

See, I'm a new Christian (it's been like 3 years since I got Saved), and I am struggling with being "Christian Enough". It seems like my faith in God is stronger at times, than at others. I struggle, daily, with telling the Lord all of my troubles. A lot of times, I am embarassed to talk to the Lord, because I feel like everything that I worry about is so insignificant compared to the worries of others. I feel like, all of the feelings that plague me, are solvable. I shouldn't be bothering God with the small stuff. I sit, almost everyday, and come to God with the same sad story. Brokenhearted, counterproductive me. I want to do good. I want to pick myself off of the ground and march on. It is SO difficult to do sometimes though. I draw all of my strength from the Lord. However, I subconsciously think that I am so strong that "Hey, I'll get through it." When in all actuality, I end up dwelling on it even further. How do you 'let go, and let God'? Countlesss times, I have handed over my worries to God and said "Lord, I'm putting it in your hands." With open arms, he accepts my worries. Somehow, someway, I manage to wiggle back to his hands and take them back out and try to fix them myself. The best relief comes as soon as you hand over your worries. The 'in between' time is good too, because you learn things. You test your faith. The problem is, the things you learn after you hand over your worries to God seem to be 'good enough' to handle the worries, so you take your worries back and say "Chill God, I got this." These are my struggles, and I'm sticking to them, so help me God.
"I've been here all morning..."-Kem

$100

Gone. Never to return to my hands the way I left it. How do you lose $100? I surely hope the person who found it, really needs it. That way, they'll appreciate it. Kind of like a relationship huh? You lose a love and you hope that the person who finds your lover, really needs them. That way, they'll appreciate them. Say for instance, I spent the rest of my natural born days dwelling on the $100 bill I lost today. That would make it the highest valued thing that's out. If you dwell on what you have/had, that's all you'll ever have. Think bigger than $100. Think bigger than the situation you just got out of. If you don't, all you'll ever have is small potatoes. It all comes back to you, and it multiplies exponentially if you have your faith in the right place. My mom gave me $70 more, but she said "You better be glad you didn't lose that $700, cuz I wouldn't be as nice!"
"Say goodbye to love...I feel like I'm nowhere"-Kenna

Had An Itch To Scratch

Lemme tell you about my first day of school.

You remember how you felt every year on the first day of school. You know how you walk into a new classroom, and you can tell whether it is going to be good or bad? Yeah, me too. Yesterday, was my first day of class at the Scratch Academy. Here's the rundown:

6:13am: 

Woke up, and actually went right to the shower! I didn't lay around for 30 more mins or nothing! I did my hair (kind of) the day before in these HORRIBLE two strand twists. I made my own "pomade" lol, so, the twists were kinda greasy. I untwisted them to wear like a crinkly fro type joint, but nope. Didn't work out the way I envisioned. But I worked with what I had, and it came off aight. 

7:22: 

Left out of the house. Mind you, the bus stop is about 0.2 miles from my house (about a 7 minute walk), so I was PUSHING it because the bus comes at 7:29 or whenever the hell it wants to. So I was power walking, slightly. Once I was about halfway from the corner, something told me to start jogging a little bit, so I jogged about 4 paces, then I started to walk up the corner to the stop and as soon as I hit the corner, and looked down the street, the bus was coming full speed ahead. So I asserted myself QUICKLY at the bus stop so he could see me. Now had the good Lord above not told me to jog a little bit...

8:00am: 

I arrive downtown. Now, I have to take another bus to the train station. According to my directions from the LA Transtar Trip Planner thing, the next bus is coming at 8:22am, and will get me to the train station by 8:31 am. My train leaves at 8:46am. So that would leave me enough time to get my ticket and stuff. HOW-EVER, my bus didn't come until 8:33. I got to the train station at about 8:39. SO, I had what, 7 minutes to make my train? Well, I get off and there are a lot of people out there (for a Saturday morning). I ask this man where to buy the tickets and he points like 100 yards down from where I was standing. I look at the clock on the lamppost and it's like 8:41. So I walk QUICKLY down to the ticket machine, and as I'm walking, I'm noticing this large crowd of people around the machines. I'm thinking they just got off of a train or are waiting for a charter bus or something. I walk up to the machines and they are all out of order. So I ask this lady how to get a ticket, and she points down to this line of people that were standing where I came from. I was like F-U-C-K! It's like 8:43 now, so I walk all the way back down there and people are moving quickly, so I tell a security guard I have to be on the train, and he told me to go back down to terminal 6, and I tell him I DONT HAVE A TICKET! He tells me to just get on because the machines are broken. He told me the train is boarding now, so I have to hurry. I jog, then I start to run to the train. Mind you, I am running back toward the ticket machines. As I'm running, I closed my eyes for a second, and I wanted to stop running so bad because I am VERY tankish, and I hate running, but the good Lord told me that if I stopped running, not only would I miss the train, but I would miss an opportunity that I would regret. So I kept it pushing, and I got on a train, and I didn't know what train it was, but I got on it anyway. I asked someone if this was the Union Station train, and they said yup. And then like 40 secs after I sat down, the doors closed and the conductor announced that we were heading to L.A/Union Station. So, had the good Lord not told me to run....

The Train Ride:

Very Dwele. I turned on my iPod, and stared out the window. I have never listened to my iPod non-stop (no skipping), but I did on the train, and it was incredible. It's so simple, but it's so me. 

About 10:15 Or So: 

I get to Union Station and I was low-key, in awe of it.

I have been here a couple times before, but today it was different. I asked a security guard where Alameda & Los Angeles street was, like how far was it from Union Station, and it was right across the street. So I go and wait for the bus out there

. 

There were these two kids out there. You know when you go to school, and (well maybe not you cool ass people, but I know my wallflowerish, nerdish folks can identify) you feel like people are talking about you because they look at you and laugh? Yeah, me too. I thought this young girl and boy were talking about me, because I walk up to the bus stop and they look real quick, then they turn away grinning. I had my headphones on so I wasn't really paying them no nevermind. Anyway, just a side note from that situation, if you ever feel like people are judging you or talking about you, do this: think about what they might have going on in their own lives that would make them want to spend time observing yours. You'll get over it. I am usually ashamed when I think people are talking bad about me (my appearance, my smile, whatever), but now I'm like, maybe they have some insecurities of their own, so I'm not gonna worry about what they say. If they don't like me for silly reasons, God bless them anyway. ANY-WAY...

10:30am or So: Get on the #010 Santa Monica bus. 

Peep game ya'll. These LA busses nickel-and-dime the HELL outta you if you don't know exactly what you wanna do. I'm an out of towner, so I'm already ignorant. I didn't have any quarters, just dollar bills. The bus is like $1.75 or $0.75, I dunno. I ended up paying $2.25 for that bus and I have no idea why. I had to transfer (I know 'transfer' is that old school term) to the #07 bus down on Pico & Bundy. Now when I got on that bus, I didn't pay anything, but I put my little bus pass thing in the slot and it stamped it as 'expired'. It's weird. Bus transfers only last like 2 hours at a time....Oh yeah, they were shooting a movie in downtown L.A. too. 

11:05am: 

I get off the bus and walk to the Scratch Academy. Thank GOD for Google Maps on my phone. It has GPS, so I was on that thing like white on rice on a paper plate in a snowstorm! (Shout out to 'Major Payne' for the line). I walk up Pico to Cotner, and I'm walking up this industrial looking street. I'm expecting to see this Dwele ass building with a big R.E.H.A.B logo on it or something, but I see an old ass ambulance parked outside of this little hole in the wall building. By then, I'm like "Hell no." So I walk up closer, and on the door was a J-Dilla flyer, and I was like "Hell yea." So I walk in, and I can't even put the feelings into words. It's like everything I have ever liked/like was inside of this place. There were flyers for everything everywhere, there were RECORDS on the walls from all of my favorite artists (past and present), there was graffiti everywhere, there was a Street Fighter II Champion Edition arcade style game in there (NOBODY can see me on Street Fighter II). It was incredible. I couldn't think of anything to do except say "Thank you Lord." It was amazing. I hadn't even TOUCHED a turntable yet. I was the first one there (since class didn't start until 12), and there were two other DJ's there; "Paperboy" and "Ver5e"(pronounced 'verse). They were super nice. Ver5e was like "Damn, you took the bus all the way from San Bernardino!?", and I told him I took the train too. Paperboy is like a child prodigy. I thought he was much older than he is. He's a mixtape DJ for G-Unit/Shadyville and them. He is really cute!! He was a hottie before I found out he was only 17! I was like "Damn." I like 'em young, but I'm trying to stay out of jail. Then this reporter from World Press News or something came in. He was doing a story on the Scratch Academy. He was talking to me for a second. Then the director of the academy, and my instructor, Hapa, came in. HE IS SICK. He's so official. He's actually the DJ on the KTLA morning news. He's been everywhere man. Soon after that, more and more people (classmates) came in. Another DJ came, "Elsewhere" to help instruct us. So in all Hapa, Ver5e, Paperboy, and Elsewhere are our instructors. We all went around and introduced ourselves. There are about 14 people or so in the class, and like 4 of them (including myself) are females. The other ladies are like professionals (one works for a designer, one works in a plastic surgeons office, and the other buys prostate cancer equipment for a hospitals...they have WAY more money than me, basically). The dudes have like crazy, well-paying professions too. The guy sitting next to me is a physician intern for Cedar Sinai! Hapa asked us to tell like what kinds of music we liked and he was like "I have to know your DJ name!" I didn't say mine ("This-That") because I think people will laugh at it like "WHAT THE F.."We learned a lot. I learned TOO much! It was so exciting to do this. And I'll be doing it for the next six Saturdays!!! All I gotta say is:

If it wasn't for God, I wouldn't have made it to DJ school. A lot of random stuff has been going on lately. This school is costing $300 to go to, and Lord knows my family could use that in other ways besides this. Not to mention the money it takes to get there. It's been really hard at home with having no money and stuff, and it's taking a toll on my family. I really wanted to do this, and I told God my worries about not being able to pay for it. I have just enough money in my account to cover the $150 deposit for school, but I had to borrow against that to pay for necessities at home. I prayed that I would still be able to go. I went down there not knowing if they were gonna tell me "Yeah, um, your payment was declined because of non-sufficient funds, so you can't stay." The exact opposite happened. My name was on the roster and everything. I even got a snazzy Scratch Academy notebook with my course info in it. 

I've been worried for the last 2 weeks because the money for the deposit hadn't came out yet, and I paid it on the 12th. But the Lord said "Give me your worries, and leave it alone." I did, and it paid off. I was almost sure to miss my busses and trains today, but I didn't. I was early when it counted, and on time when it mattered. God wouldn't let me fail....Thank you Lord. 

"There is a waaaaaaay-aaaa, no matter what they say..."-Mos Def

How You Gonna DJ....

And you don't even go to parties. Honestly, I've never been to a house party. My neighbor invited me and my mom to her 3oth birthday party (which is going down as I type). I've never spoken to her before. I was washing my car the other day and she came up and invited me to her party. I don't remember if I told her I would come, but I told her I'd let my mom know and stuff. Well, tonight I was trying to remember her name to write on the front of the card, so I can at least take her a card for not going. I kept walking toward the door like I was gonna take it, and my mom was like "They're having a party over there..." I kept saying I know, and she was encouraging me to go, but I said "I don't know nobody over there..." Well, I slicked my hair back, put some makeup on like I was gonna go and stay, and as soon as I got to the yard, I knew I wasn't gonna stay. I guess parties are not my cup of tea. I am such a square!!!! I went to the door, hoping I could see her and just hand her the card. Of course I couldn't see her in the dark. So I walked through the house, and I was tapping people asking for her and I guess that was weird to people. I went out on the back patio and didn't see her. Saw her husband sitting with like 10 other people, and went up to him (Just like a scared child lost in Wal-Mart) and he was super nice. He found her for me, and asked "You not gon' stay and dance!!??" I told them I was meeting friends...but I was scared to stay. I guess I didn't wanna be weird and be the only one there by themselves. How am I 22 years old, and shy as hell!!!???? This party is CRUNK now too...they have a DJ and everything. When I came back home (2mins later) my mom was like "why didn't you stay...you could've got you a drink and talked to the DJ or something! That's how you meet people!" Is that how you meet people? Thats strange though...going somewhere where you don't know ANYBODY. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. Like Cheers. I should have went back, but would I have enjoyed myself? Gosh, I'm so square! But I wanna be a fucking DJ!!!!!!! That is weird. That's like someone wanting to be a dentist, but they are afraid to smile. Weird shit. It's frustrating, I always get dressed up and threaten to go and find something grown to do, but when I get there, it's nothing that I'm used to. And I am bored as hell now. Sitting here trying to figure out the song that's playing just from the beat vibrations (I'm good at that shit too!!!). Maybe I just needed someone else to go with me, like a security blanket. They're playing "Bartender" now...my drink and my two-step just slipped through my fingers....
"Why must I feel like that..."-George Clinton

Easier Said Than Done...

Remember that Easy-E joint? No? You aint up on Easy-E than sukka! Nah, that's just my little metaphor type deal I'm finna break down in this here blog right quick. See, it's summa-summa-summa-tiiiime, and all the couples are out sweating together. (Great, here we go, another "why can't I have a boyfriend too" blog...damn girl, just shut up and be happy!) I know that's what you're thinking. And you know what, it's "Easier Said Than Done..." Of course you can prescribe a remedy for my ills. It's always easy to look at someone else and say "All you gotta do is..." I do it too. I'm the first one to do that to people. That's why I'm gonna be a teacher; I have to be in charge and run people's lives. No but seriously, it's bothering me more than it should (being single). I think I notice it a lot more this year than last year. Last summer, I met my incredible ex-boyfriend and had a lovely time. It was so nice, I don't even remember bitching about the heat! And I know it was hot last summer. This summer, I'm comparing to last summer, plus I'm complaining about the heat! It doesn't compare. Things are a lot different now than they were a year ago, yet, I'm trying to force history to repeat itself. If life goes as planned, history will repeat itself. I made history last year! I could no longer say "I've NEVER had a boyfriend." I had to change my status from "single" to "In a Relationship" on everything. It seemed like my life had a little bit more purpose, I guess. Now, what do I have? (You got YOU bitch! Be easy!) I was listening to this song by Lalah Hathaway called "On Your Own," and in the song, she has a line that says something like "Now your heart belongs to you" or something like that. It was kinda deep when I first heard it because it declared ownership for something that is freely given away. It put it in perspective for me. I have never heard anything like that before. Like, my heart, is mine. Now I have to figure out who can rent it for a little while. Your heart is just like a rental property. You are gonna get HELLA tenants...some good, some bad. It's up to you to make sure they don't fuck your shit up so bad that you have to demolish it (say "fuck love!") or sell it (just give it to anyone). I had a good tenant last year. He had to move to a new spot. So I have a heart that's for rent. No section 8 applicants need apply...

Gosh my deodorant smells good. I was in the bank earlier all over my own jock with this new Dove. I ate pie ALL day today. Marie Callendar's has their infamous pie sale going on. They raised the price though!!!! Instead of $5.99 a pie, it's $6.99 a pie. Damn U.S. economy got everybody all messed up. Can't even get good pie for cheap no mo'!!!!! What else happened today....OH, yeah, I got a hold placed on my license. Yeah, I had a deal to pay off this ticket, and got behind a little bit, and the courts don't play! If you set up a deal, you better make good on it. They added $300 to the ticket (bringing it to $566-I had paid like $120 on it and got it down from $420) plus they put the hold on my license. Now what this means is that, 1.) I cant do any DMV type transactions (including pay my registration fees, which are past due!) and 2.) If I get pulled over, they can impound my car. SO, needless to say, Chyna White will be on bricks for a little while. The hold won't be lifted until the fine is paid in full. Gas is high anyway...I ate a $5 Footlong (does the hand gesture) yesterday, and I knew something was not right. How come after all these years, Subway (probably the most expensive meal I used to eat) has decided to make the footlong a flat rate? People don't believe my theory. I think they got a deal on some old ass meat, and they have to sell it. So they lowered the price to sell these raggedy ass sandwiches! The chick put too much mayonnaise on my sub yesterday! I was almost tempted to call the senator. It was weird. It is day 10 of the "Lack Of Gas"...yep, our gas has been off for some weeks, but I've only been home for 10 days. I've taken several cold showers. It's wack, but as Kanye and the Bible and all them say "That that don't kill me, can only make me stronger." Realistically, mom paid the bill on Friday, but the gas company decided that they can't turn our gas back on til' this Thursday! A week to turn on the gas-instantaneous shut off though...go figure. It's getting hotter in my room, so I'll go.

"Today I Didn't Even Have To Use My AK..."-Ice Cube

So My Brother Is Doing His Thing...

Ya'll know he over there with Fantasia keeping her hair fierce as hell. According to a reliable source (My mother), he is working with Fantasia for "The Color Purple" stage production thing...you know the one Oprah is paying for. See, my bro is a hair dresser, and he's very good. VERY good! Even I have to make an appointment (just kidding, but it seems that way). I think we all have our own innate little artsy side to us. I was talking to Tifini, and she said she wants to pick up her writing shit again and start spittin children's books! How Dwele is that! She wrote the cutest little book for her class last quarter (it was about a cupcake and black people or something), and she said she wants to pursue it further-low key. Not on no "I'm gonna throw my degree away" type shit, but just to keep her happy. That's like me and my little DJ gig I'm trying to jump off. Of course I'm gonna stay in school and do my do as a teacher/counselor. However, there is an artistic side to E-Dub also! I love photography along with music, so there ya go. You gotta have a little side hustle that makes you happy. We all get so caught up in the roles we play, that we never get to do what makes us happy. For instance, when I was sitting on the toilet the other day, I came to a conclusion that this summer, I am going to do Evelyn Knox. I play different roles: Evelyn "the RA", Evelyn "the Director Of PALS", Evelyn "the Student". I rarely get to be Evelyn Knox-the person. This summer will be my chance to do just that. I have to tell you, it is a bit unsettling, because I am going bat shit crazy! I have been juggling all three of the roles mentioned for a whole year, and to settle down and not have to do all of them at once is like "whoa".  Each day, I get more and more pumped to go to the Scratch Academy (DJ school son!). This is tapping into Evelyn Knox. I'm doing artsy type stuff this summer. It makes me happy (I think), so why not do it while I have the time?

"Distant Lover...Looooooveerrrrrrrrrr...."-Marvin Gaye

Scratch Your Bootyhole

I'm sorry for the vulgar title, but you should've heard my little niece crack up when my mom said that earlier. What's with kids and borderline curse words? They eat that crap up. Anyway, I have to tell you that I am VERY excited because I just bought the new Lalah Hathaway and Dwele cd's. Now, only a couple of you know the significance of Dwele in my life, but hardly any of you know the deal with Lalah Hathaway. Now see, Dwele is my favorite male R&B singer. Nothing else to say on that. He's just Dwele. You've even heard me say 'Dwele' when I refer to something real dope. Now Lalah, is my favorite female singer of all time. She's the GOAT. Of course, her dad is Donny Hathaway (you know, "Giving Up", and "The Ghetto" and "Where Is The Love"...greatness), and she comes from legendary roots, but miss Hathaway is too much. I remember listening to her as a young gang banger here in San Bernardino. My pops used to play her record in the Benzo when I was like 5 and 6 years old. Never has an artist stuck with me as long as she has. I remember when I bought her first cd, about 6 years ago. I bought it from memory of every track. She just put out a new one a couple weeks ago, and I couldn't wait to buy it. I can already tell that this is going to be my Fall record. I CAN ALREADY TELL! It's crazy. Haven't got to Dwele yet, he's disc 2. After looking at my stereo just now, I realize, there is no better gift than music (oh come off of it E-Dub! Gettin all artistic and shit...). I'm serious! This is my great Auntie Dee's stereo. When she passed on, the one thing I wanted most from her, I didn't get. I wanted her China. Auntie Dee had expensive taste, and she paid cash for it! Her China was beautiful. A bunch of drama took place when she passed and all of her valuables went to someone that isn't even in our family, including the China. Her son, cousin Freddie, came to the house shortly after she passed, and my mom told him that I wanted the dishes. He said they were gone, but he offered me her stereo. At the time, I was like whatever about it. It's a big stereo, but it wasn't what I wanted. Over the last couple years, I have been attached at the hip to my stereo. When I moved on campus, people would come in my room, and the first thing they would say is "DAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaammmmmn! Thats a big ass radio!". I ain't tryin' ta brag or nothin (yes you are, triflin bitch!), but its become my pride and joy. It means a lot to me since my aunt passed. She always encouraged me to do great stuff. She wanted to see me become a professor. Now, something as insignificant as a stereo keeps me motivated to do the stuff I want, and the stuff she wanted me to do. She didn't know I wanted to become a DJ. She would probably have a fit if she was still alive. Probably not though. This radio deepens my love of music (oh my God with the music metaphors E-Dub! Get over it!). It's like 12 years old, but it is ridiculous. I couldn't wait to come home and play these cd's!!!!!! You can tell I have NO man. 

Since I'm Up Listening To Corinne Bailey Rae...

I thought of some more stuff to write about. I'm so excited about this blog, I had to put it on my facebook and myspace so people can be all up in my business. See, it's June right, and every summer (it NEVER fails), I get in a rut, and I start acting random. For all of you Eurotrash people out there like me, do you ever say "Okay, I'm turning my myspace alerts off, since no one hits me up anyway. And, I'm not coming back to myspace for a while!" You proceed to log out for the last time that day, and try to keep yourself occupied. Then, you sit around and try to think of random shit to do, and you think "Man, what if someone wrote to me or something? What if he/she tried to hit me up...maybe I got some new comments..." So, you sign back in after, oh, 2 hours, and realize: Honey, NOBODY cares about you! That was me all day today. Realistically, if I can be real (be really real son), the only reason I sign in and out is because I am screening messages from a certain someone who shall remain nameless, ageless, sexless, priceless. Anyone who has ever broken up with someone, or is even starting a new relationship with someone knows that anxious feeling you get when you wait for contact with that person. On the breakup end, your anxious behavior is fueled by hope; hope that they'll come to their senses and realize they were wrong, and they're better off with you than without you. On the new relationship end, your anxious behavior is fueled by...them! You wanna write messages in between messages just to occupy all of their time and attention. And they feel the same way. You feel that there just ain't enough hours in the day when you're starting a new relationship with someone. Days fly by. When that negro is out of your life, days drag on for months. I swear, November 2007 was four and a half months long son! And Corinne Bailey Rae can shove a pickle in her navel because she sings so beautifully. I NEVER liked her music. She was annoying, but I guess you gotta listen to her with headphones on at 12:50 in the morning to recognize her utter greatness. Sorry for that tangent, but she's singing a song that I'm sure will make me cry if I listen to the lyrics. Boy, it's cooler in here than it was like 4 hours ago. My room faces a brick wall that borders the neighbors house. Cali heat aint no joke, it gets in the upper 1Teens (like *118). My room is Dwele though (Dwele means Neo-Soul, cool, chill, soulful, super neat, fantastic). My friend PJ and a bunch of my other (OH SNAP-"Cupid Shuffle" just came on...if it wasn't so late...you already know!) friends are going to Japan tomorrow! Why couldn't I go to Japan. I only buy stuff from Japan. I should buy stuff in Japan. My summer better not be fucked up. Last summer was life changing. I feel really old this summer. Even though I moved back home, I feel like I should be moving out again or something. NOW KICK! NOW KICK (now keeeick)...I can't help it, the "Cupid Shuffle" is the new Macarena for black folk. I remember back in January when I went to Southern Rap (RA Conference/Event), and like 500 RA's from across the state were doing the Cupid Shuffle. Of course, the black folk from CSUSB put it down (Shout out to Arial, PJ, Antonio, DJ, Tiffany Webster-Twebb!-all ya'll...). 

This blog is random. 

I Don't Know Karate, But I Know Ca-Razy!-James Brown

This Is The Start of The Summer

I've already done the myspace blog thing. It just doesn't work for me! LOL. This is my Blog. It's late, I'm aware of that, thinkgz! Let's talk about this title "One Moment! Thinkgz!"When you say "One Moment!" it is a sign of impatience. Someone is talking very fast, and talking while you're trying to get a word in. You all of a sudden yell "One Moment!" and put your index finger up in their face signaling that you will get to their question in a minute. When you say "Thinkgz!" this is really just saying "Thanks" with a condescending way. This is actually how my friend Arial (BUDDY!) says "thanks." I'm sure she doesn't mean to say it condescendingly, but it just sounds so cute when she says it. It's like a high pitched "Ok!". Anyway, welcome to this blog. Reading this first post should show you what it will be like. I hope to write in it (oh man, this Cool Kids song "A Little Bit Cooler" goes so hard!) as much as I can. I like to write, I think. I just get scared when people read my shit. People get weird and stuff over words. You should know by now not to take ANYTHING the Kid Edub (me) says seriously. If I write it, I feel it, but if I say it, it's real. Period. Please read this blog in your spare time. If you have a super cool cell phone, or portable-enough computer, this blog reads well on any toilet. 

Chunkin' That Deuce-Cool Kids.