- You know, I always wondered "Evelyn, WHY don't you smoke weed?"...well, I got one step closer to my answer last night: Walking into the UV Center, I couldn't help but blurt out "DAMN it smells like WEED in here!" Said "hi" to the dude working the desk, and then before I hit the lounge area, went into "whodoneit" mode. So, we have missthing sleeping on the couch, and a trio of guys playing pool by the door. Stereotypical sense says "These negroes been smokin' something GOOD (or bad) !!!" So naturally, I waltz over their direction to get a whiff of AxeWeed. I got nothin. They looked/smelled normal. Now, I'm pissed because I wanted to be right (like the neighbor who accuses you of stealing her oranges because she "saw you!") I get called back over to the desk and I am informed that missthing has been sleep on that couch for nearly an hour waiting for someone. Aight cool, I say "Call me if she's still here at 8:30" Get called. She's just waking up. She was very polite, slightly embarassed, blatantly high. What got me closer to figuring out why I don't smoke was the fact that this girl and I were roughly the same size and height. When she got up, all her clothes were bunched up and a bad amount of stomach and ass came out. I was embarassed for her. She couldn't find her keys. And when her friend came in she was like "I don't know what happened. Girl, I been sleep here for 2hrs..."
Now, if you smoke, more power and wisdom to you. But damn...wear a Snuggie.
"Fools be havin' them vaccuum lungs..."
-The Luniz
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
"Different' Doesn't Necessarily Mean 'Better'...
Got the title from Queen Latifah's character, Zora, in "House Party 2".
In this particular scene where she utters this declaration, Zora is talking to Sydney (Tisha Campbell's character). Sydney was excited about talking to this new guy after her breakup with Kid (Man, Kid is all I know him as...it's Christopher somethinoranother). The scene was blogworthy to me because of the way the dude pumped her head up with some fabricated story about the reasons Kid broke up with her. Of course, she was upset, and took everything the dude was saying to heart. You know the whole "I just don't think he respects/appreciates/cares about you..." line that dudes sell to females. And you also know the whole "I can see the light now that you've turned it on for me" attitude that females take away from that line. Sydney was so impressed with how 'different' this guy was from Kid. Well, lemme tell you something...
I don't know if it's because I've always observed the relationships my friends have had, or if it's because I myself am looking for something 'different' than what I've accepted, but I can attest that 'different' doesn't necessarily mean better.
I've been kinda praying for a different situation than I'm in currently. In all aspects of my life, not just in my relationships (or lack thereof) with men. Sitting in my room every day makes me long to be outside doing something. Being unemployed makes me want to go to work. Being single makes me want to be in a relationship. Being a virgin (yes, you read that right) makes me want to have sex every hour of the day. Just to have something different.
There's a reason why I (and you) are in the situation we are in. It's apart of God's plan. And to be frankly honest, I don't understand it, nor do I like it, but I have to accept it (obviously). I heard TD Jakes or somebody say when you go to God, you can't just sit there and be timid in your desires and your hopes. You can't just be like "Well, I'm happy to have whatever God gives me right now," he said that you have to literally "bang the door down" and tell him what you want. You always hear that "name your blessing/claim your blessing" type of thinking, and at times, I buy it, but I'm not ashamed to admit, I don't believe in it sometimes. I am also not ashamed to admit that it's a lot more difficult to hold onto your faith and principles when everything seems to remain the same.
You want something different. You SWEAR "this time" is gonna be different, when you follow the same exact steps as you did the last time. How can they be different?
I guess the key is to hold firm. And I mean TIGHT! Like the kind of tight you feel when you get the first row of your hair braided and you can't even imagine telling the braider to loosen it. TIGHT! YO....new analogy off of my braid metaphor:
When you're getting your hair braided, that first row kills. You develop little bumps around the hair and everything. You get through it, and the rest of the braids seem not to hurt nearly as much. But that first row, is KILLIN it. You want all of your braids to be tight because they last longer. But you gotta get through the first row. Suck them tears back, grab a pillow, get an attitude with someone, something to take the sting off. But the first row is just a symbol of longevity. Only the wise endure.
Until new-growth comes in.
"As Long As You Keep, Your Head To The Sky,"
-Sounds of Blackness
In this particular scene where she utters this declaration, Zora is talking to Sydney (Tisha Campbell's character). Sydney was excited about talking to this new guy after her breakup with Kid (Man, Kid is all I know him as...it's Christopher somethinoranother). The scene was blogworthy to me because of the way the dude pumped her head up with some fabricated story about the reasons Kid broke up with her. Of course, she was upset, and took everything the dude was saying to heart. You know the whole "I just don't think he respects/appreciates/cares about you..." line that dudes sell to females. And you also know the whole "I can see the light now that you've turned it on for me" attitude that females take away from that line. Sydney was so impressed with how 'different' this guy was from Kid. Well, lemme tell you something...
I don't know if it's because I've always observed the relationships my friends have had, or if it's because I myself am looking for something 'different' than what I've accepted, but I can attest that 'different' doesn't necessarily mean better.
I've been kinda praying for a different situation than I'm in currently. In all aspects of my life, not just in my relationships (or lack thereof) with men. Sitting in my room every day makes me long to be outside doing something. Being unemployed makes me want to go to work. Being single makes me want to be in a relationship. Being a virgin (yes, you read that right) makes me want to have sex every hour of the day. Just to have something different.
There's a reason why I (and you) are in the situation we are in. It's apart of God's plan. And to be frankly honest, I don't understand it, nor do I like it, but I have to accept it (obviously). I heard TD Jakes or somebody say when you go to God, you can't just sit there and be timid in your desires and your hopes. You can't just be like "Well, I'm happy to have whatever God gives me right now," he said that you have to literally "bang the door down" and tell him what you want. You always hear that "name your blessing/claim your blessing" type of thinking, and at times, I buy it, but I'm not ashamed to admit, I don't believe in it sometimes. I am also not ashamed to admit that it's a lot more difficult to hold onto your faith and principles when everything seems to remain the same.
You want something different. You SWEAR "this time" is gonna be different, when you follow the same exact steps as you did the last time. How can they be different?
I guess the key is to hold firm. And I mean TIGHT! Like the kind of tight you feel when you get the first row of your hair braided and you can't even imagine telling the braider to loosen it. TIGHT! YO....new analogy off of my braid metaphor:
When you're getting your hair braided, that first row kills. You develop little bumps around the hair and everything. You get through it, and the rest of the braids seem not to hurt nearly as much. But that first row, is KILLIN it. You want all of your braids to be tight because they last longer. But you gotta get through the first row. Suck them tears back, grab a pillow, get an attitude with someone, something to take the sting off. But the first row is just a symbol of longevity. Only the wise endure.
Until new-growth comes in.
"As Long As You Keep, Your Head To The Sky,"
-Sounds of Blackness
Friday, July 3, 2009
Tragic Inevitability
I am going to attempt to explain my understanding of this phrase. Ever since I bought that Lalah Hathaway cd, this phrase has stuck with me.
I think it means what she says; what will be, will be. Its just the 'tragic' aspect of the statement is what makes it complicated. Maybe it means something you know will happen, but you either don't want it to, or have no way of controlling/stopping it? Maybe you don't care about the outcome; that makes it 'tragic'.
Some things are bound to happen.
Again, I laugh as I face another summer in Southern California with a bleak outlook on my personal life. "Glimmers of hope" appear (shout out to Pres. Obama), but soon the glitter flakes off of the glue holding hope together. I often wonder the typical "why me?" Or "what am I doing wrong?" Living in such an image-conscious environment like So Cal, you internalize your differences and do something else or something about it.
I'm probably not doing anything wrong except living the life I choose to live. Judgemental? Who isn't? Naive? Damn right. Who knows everything? Scared? I'm only scared of things people pretend to be confident about. I guess I'm unashamed of being myself, no matter how immature and young-minded I appear. I honestly can't help it! And, I can't lie well enough to "stomp with the big dogs", so I will keep asking questions until I'm confident I can explain it to someone else.
I worry about myself in the sense that I have weird values that came from nowhere! I want the support of a strong man, but more than that, I want to be a support system for someone. When I fall in love, it happens quickly and intensely. When it ends, it hurts at an equal level. I learn new methods of dealing with men, with each man I talk to, but I never forget what it feels like to be in love. I always strive for at least that. I guess I'm old school or something. I don't know why. Never saw an example of love growing up, until I fell in it myself. (Raheem DeVaughn said "Why fall in love, when you can stand in it?"--damn) I am unwilling to get caught up in the 2009 game of love & consequences where you prepare for the end of the relationship instead of the here and now. It sucks. "Get you before you get me" type shit. Maxine Shaw (Erika Alexander from "Living Single") called it 'Prevenge'. Everyone seems unwilling to let the heart do what its supposed to. You got grown ass people walking around here with two brains. No heart. People underestimate the strength of the heart. It gets broken, but heals. I know how it feels to be hurt, and lied to. You can't shut the door on everyone because someone kicked you out of one. If someone finds the key to your heart, let them in.
"Tell me why, is it so?"
-Michael Jackson
I think it means what she says; what will be, will be. Its just the 'tragic' aspect of the statement is what makes it complicated. Maybe it means something you know will happen, but you either don't want it to, or have no way of controlling/stopping it? Maybe you don't care about the outcome; that makes it 'tragic'.
Some things are bound to happen.
Again, I laugh as I face another summer in Southern California with a bleak outlook on my personal life. "Glimmers of hope" appear (shout out to Pres. Obama), but soon the glitter flakes off of the glue holding hope together. I often wonder the typical "why me?" Or "what am I doing wrong?" Living in such an image-conscious environment like So Cal, you internalize your differences and do something else or something about it.
I'm probably not doing anything wrong except living the life I choose to live. Judgemental? Who isn't? Naive? Damn right. Who knows everything? Scared? I'm only scared of things people pretend to be confident about. I guess I'm unashamed of being myself, no matter how immature and young-minded I appear. I honestly can't help it! And, I can't lie well enough to "stomp with the big dogs", so I will keep asking questions until I'm confident I can explain it to someone else.
I worry about myself in the sense that I have weird values that came from nowhere! I want the support of a strong man, but more than that, I want to be a support system for someone. When I fall in love, it happens quickly and intensely. When it ends, it hurts at an equal level. I learn new methods of dealing with men, with each man I talk to, but I never forget what it feels like to be in love. I always strive for at least that. I guess I'm old school or something. I don't know why. Never saw an example of love growing up, until I fell in it myself. (Raheem DeVaughn said "Why fall in love, when you can stand in it?"--damn) I am unwilling to get caught up in the 2009 game of love & consequences where you prepare for the end of the relationship instead of the here and now. It sucks. "Get you before you get me" type shit. Maxine Shaw (Erika Alexander from "Living Single") called it 'Prevenge'. Everyone seems unwilling to let the heart do what its supposed to. You got grown ass people walking around here with two brains. No heart. People underestimate the strength of the heart. It gets broken, but heals. I know how it feels to be hurt, and lied to. You can't shut the door on everyone because someone kicked you out of one. If someone finds the key to your heart, let them in.
"Tell me why, is it so?"
-Michael Jackson
Write Stuff
I'm still here. I still have this blog!? I'll be back with more posts soon. I have no job, no money, no honey, so WTF excuse do I have? None.
After while, crocodile.
After while, crocodile.
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