"Different' Doesn't Necessarily Mean 'Better'...

Got the title from Queen Latifah's character, Zora, in "House Party 2".

In this particular scene where she utters this declaration, Zora is talking to Sydney (Tisha Campbell's character). Sydney was excited about talking to this new guy after her breakup with Kid (Man, Kid is all I know him as...it's Christopher somethinoranother). The scene was blogworthy to me because of the way the dude pumped her head up with some fabricated story about the reasons Kid broke up with her. Of course, she was upset, and took everything the dude was saying to heart. You know the whole "I just don't think he respects/appreciates/cares about you..." line that dudes sell to females. And you also know the whole "I can see the light now that you've turned it on for me" attitude that females take away from that line. Sydney was so impressed with how 'different' this guy was from Kid. Well, lemme tell you something...

I don't know if it's because I've always observed the relationships my friends have had, or if it's because I myself am looking for something 'different' than what I've accepted, but I can attest that 'different' doesn't necessarily mean better.

I've been kinda praying for a different situation than I'm in currently. In all aspects of my life, not just in my relationships (or lack thereof) with men. Sitting in my room every day makes me long to be outside doing something. Being unemployed makes me want to go to work. Being single makes me want to be in a relationship. Being a virgin (yes, you read that right) makes me want to have sex every hour of the day. Just to have something different.

There's a reason why I (and you) are in the situation we are in. It's apart of God's plan. And to be frankly honest, I don't understand it, nor do I like it, but I have to accept it (obviously). I heard TD Jakes or somebody say when you go to God, you can't just sit there and be timid in your desires and your hopes. You can't just be like "Well, I'm happy to have whatever God gives me right now," he said that you have to literally "bang the door down" and tell him what you want. You always hear that "name your blessing/claim your blessing" type of thinking, and at times, I buy it, but I'm not ashamed to admit, I don't believe in it sometimes. I am also not ashamed to admit that it's a lot more difficult to hold onto your faith and principles when everything seems to remain the same.

You want something different. You SWEAR "this time" is gonna be different, when you follow the same exact steps as you did the last time. How can they be different?

I guess the key is to hold firm. And I mean TIGHT! Like the kind of tight you feel when you get the first row of your hair braided and you can't even imagine telling the braider to loosen it. TIGHT! YO....new analogy off of my braid metaphor:

When you're getting your hair braided, that first row kills. You develop little bumps around the hair and everything. You get through it, and the rest of the braids seem not to hurt nearly as much. But that first row, is KILLIN it. You want all of your braids to be tight because they last longer. But you gotta get through the first row. Suck them tears back, grab a pillow, get an attitude with someone, something to take the sting off. But the first row is just a symbol of longevity. Only the wise endure.

Until new-growth comes in.


"As Long As You Keep, Your Head To The Sky,"
-Sounds of Blackness